Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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