O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
