How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
