This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
