Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
