He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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