i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I booty called her while she was in labor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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