smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
