haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize