His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
