I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
