The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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