Someone shit on the floor
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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