windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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