just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize