i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
