the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
