Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
