apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
