I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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