she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
