I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
