I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want her autograph on my taint
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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