Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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