spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize