she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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