That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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