I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
