Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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