weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
