She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
