We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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