pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
