yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
