Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
