they need to just BURY HIM!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
