capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
