Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
