If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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