Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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