let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
