I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
