like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
