I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Less talking, more tequila
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
