If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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