My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
