I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
