Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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