Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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