She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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