i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
