my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
