$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
