I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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