Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
