When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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