I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
