Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
