So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
