Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Found the puke drawer
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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